Alexi Lalas, ESPN
Credit: Frederick M. Brown / Getty Images

Alexi Lalas, ESPN

The former USMNT defender keeps a relatively low profile most of the time by commentating on the MLS, but he becomes suddenly ubiquitous at the start of every World Cup. Lalas doesn't seem like a bad guy now that he's cut off the goatee and he's definitely a savvy observer of the game. Still, his singer-songwriter album "Ginger" is one of the worst things to ever come out of the athletic-musical industrial complex. Sample lyric: "I've been counting to forever/but forever is every day." The man tortured countless Hootie and the Blowfish by opening for them in the nineties.