Going out to a sports bar and hoping upon hope for a stool within view of your preferred game is a fool's errand. "But I want — nay, demand — properly dressed and spiced wings while watching grown men toss the pigskin," you declare, "and I sure as hell have no interest in whipping up a complex marinade from scratch, nor do I trust an already tossed takeout order to maintain its integrity from car to couch." Firstly, that's a mouthful. Moreover, it's a good thing that several condiment purveyors have you covered like a drumstick slathered in vinegar. All you need to do is procure or prep a batch of moist, undressed, bone-in beauties and shakeup, submerge, or dip into one of these six bottled wing-sauce varieties (which we've helpfully assessed according to only the most scientific criteria), and voila: So long as you don't mind assorted hydrogenated and soybean oils substituting for melted pats of butter, your appetizer issues are solved. Now if only we could say the same for your team.