Focusing on Orgasms
Perhaps thanks to popular media and porn, orgasms are seen as the end-all, be-all of sex. While it's nice to want to give your partner what you think is the ultimate in pleasure, obsessing over orgasm is not a smart move. "This is the bugaboo that most often leads to performance anxiety and even erectile dysfunction, oftentimes in physically healthy young men," says Christine Milrod, sex researcher, licensed therapist, and co-editor of the Cultural Encyclopedia of the Penis. It can also make partners who are being pressed to orgasm self-conscious.
The solution: Milrod suggests what she calls "getting stupid." Let your brain shut down. Stop judging and reasoning your way through sex. Malone also says people should understand that not everyone orgasms and that plenty of people enjoy sex immensely whether they orgasm or not.