Just because a sex position feels mind-blowing for a man, doesn’t mean the woman involved feels the same way. Many moves can leave women feeling unsatisfied, downright bored, or even in pain. The one way to know for certain how a woman feels about your go-to selections is to ask. But if you’re still unsure, looking for another hint about what ranks low on most women’s preferred positions list, look no further. We spoke to the (female) sex experts about the positions they find are least likely to please.
1. Reverse Cowgirl: Men love reverse cowgirl — if only for the view. While this position can help the woman set the pace and angles, it has one major fault. “The problem here is that she gets no clitoral stimulation in this position,” says Anka Radakovich, author of The Wild Girls Club, Part 2. She recommends men fix this by using their fingers to make up for the missing stimulation.
2. Frisky to the floor: This is a position where the women is bent over, hands on the floor, and the man penetrates her from behind. “Although this one feels good for both of you, I personally road tested it and blood rushed to my head,” says Radakovich. With all the hyperventilating and redistribution of blood already involved in sex, having a woman upside-down can be a setup for serious light-headedness. Radakovich recommends doing this position near a chair or bed, so the woman can move to higher ground if she starts to feel a little woozy.
3. Anal: Any positions that involve anal should be approached with caution. Aside from the fact that some people simply don’t like the thought of anal, it can be painful for the receiving partner. “[…] if the guy doesn’t open her second sphincter properly, it can hurt,” says Rebecca Rosenblat, relationship and sexuality therapist. The anus is not like the vagina. It requires lubrication and some pre-penetration stretching for everything to go comfortably. Rosenblat also adds that anal penetration from behind can be even farther down the list of preferred sex positions than other anal options because it can feel less intimate.
4. Missionary on the floor: It has a reputation for being boring, but Missionary is spectacularly intimate and can hit many satisfying areas for women (particularly if it’s modified into the Coital Alignment Technique). However, when partners just can’t get enough of each other and end up in Missionary on the floor, the woman may become uncomfortable fast — she is literally being grinded into the ground after all. So, unless the carpet is shag or there are some blankets conveniently placed, men enjoying their floor-level Missionary should keep in mind that their partners may not want to stay there too long.
5. Oral on her knees: Women’s opinions of blow jobs vary widely. Some get turned on by doing it, others see it more as a selfless favor. Either way, men almost always get more out of this arrangement than women. If a woman is going down on a man, he should try to make her as happy as possible. Having to put pressure on her knees for too long may make her sore. Plus, this strikes some women as a very submissive position. To make things easier on the giver, men can suggest sitting or laying down. With these modifications, the woman is closer to the man’s level and in a more relaxed position.
6. Standing: Standing is one of those positions that is so often a symbol of passion and romantic prowess on TV and in movies. But it’s much more complicated in real life. There are the obvious strains on the man, including the increased difficulty many guys have climaxing while vertical. Depending on how much support she’s receiving, the woman may also struggle with this position physically. If a man gets the sense his partner is focusing more on staying aloft than indulging in the moment, move on from this position quickly (or skip it altogether).
7. Girl-on-Top 69: The 69 has earned a reputation as one of the all-time greatest sex positions. It allows both partners a lot of pleasure, fun views, and it’s a little naughty. However, any woman whose ever done the classic girl-on-top version, knows it’s basically a plank. Either that, or the man is taking on the full weight of his partner as she lies skin-to-skin on top of him. Next time you want to 69, make it easier on both of you by lying on your sides instead.