If the number of people playing paintball is any indication, an increasing number of folks are satisfying their primal desire to shoot one another in the face in a generally safe and socially acceptable fashion. And as the popularity of the sport has exploded (from 4.5 to 5.5 million players in the past year, raking in an estimated $330 million in equipment sales alone), paintball parks are seeking out new frontiers for their simulated warfare, from having former DEA agents serve as near-invincible opponents to carrying out hyperdetailed role-playing games to massive reenactments, like those at Skirmish USA (skirmish.com), above. The following three locations offer just about everything — fighting against real marines, taking part in a full-fledged ground war — to let you get as close to the frontline as possible without having to dodge any actual bullets. Hoo-ah.
D-Day Adventure Park
This 740-acre facility in northeast Oklahoma hosts one of the world’s largest paintball events each April, June, and October: an absurdly elaborate re-creation of the storming of the beach at Normandy (with a whopping 4,000 dudes dressed as either Nazis or U.S. soldiers, minus actual beaches). The park’s three armored personnel carriers, handful of jeeps, and even a WWII half-track are available to tear up 42 miles of trails and pull off your best General Patton — or Colonel Klink ($65 to play; ddayadventurepark.com ).
Camp Pendleton
Littered with standard large wooden spools and ramshackle hideouts, this isn’t exactly the world’s most spectacular paintball destination. But the secret draw is that this place is on the actual grounds of California’s Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton — meaning that off-duty marines often suit up and vent their frustrations by using their tactical warfare to completely tear apart your weak armchair warrior game. You won’t win, of course, but knowing that is half the battle (from $40; cppaintball.com ).
Armourgeddon
The closest you can get to a full-out ground war is just outside Leicester, England, where FV432 tanks lie at the ready. Brief tank-driving sessions are required (the driver’s seats can be a bit cramped and are not recommended for anyone taller than six feet), but once you get a handle on maneuvering the things, training your sights from a moving target — with a 40mm air cannon to boot — will be the only thing stopping you from becoming the ultimate badass…if only on the paintball field (from $150; armourgeddon.co.uk ).
This article originally appeared in the September 2008 issue of Men’s Journal.
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January 19th, 2009 at 8:00 pm
I have been playing off and on for the last 10 years. During this time I have seen the sport grow like mad. 10 years ago you could spend the whole day at one of the local fields. Now you need reservations just to get on for an hour.
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