Atrocious Tan Lines
In short, use sunscreen. If you’re three hours in and five beers deep sporting burn-victim tan lines, you’re basically telling me that you’re wasted and don’t take pride in your personal hygiene. And you’re likely in a great deal of pain. Save face, and your body, and slather on sunscreen properly. (Or grow a pair and ask your friend to do it for you.) For women, a sunburn is a red flag that you haven’t graduated from the Garth Brooks’ anthems of yesteryear, and that we should steer clear of you.