The British actor who made cursing an art in HBO’s Deadwood talks about how to impress a woman, his favorite books, and man-thongs.
Interviewed by Steven Russell
What should every man know about women?
If any man says he understands women, he’s out of his mind. Women are marvelous creatures, but wonderfully different and scary at times. I met my wife 30 years ago, and twice a day my eyes roll up and I think, Where did that one come from?
What’s the best way to end a relationship?
Just get on a plane and go. You talk about it, you may go back again.
How do you make your favorite drink?
As one who was prone to love booze up until 21 years ago, I could’ve given you numerous amazing cocktail recipes. But no longer, no, no. Now it’s Pellegrino straight, occasionally with a twist, and if I’m feeling really way out, man, I’ll mix in some cranberry.
What’s the key to staying young?
Take ginkgo biloba by the handful, and do crosswords and try to remember stuff you shouldn’t be able to, because you don’t want that memory to go. When I was doing Deadwood, those long speeches—I always thought that kept me going.
What book should every man read?
Fred Exley’s A Fan’s Notes, one of the great books from the ‘60s. It’s about being a sports fan, but it’s much more than that. It’s life lessons. I’m an avid reader, especially of American Gothic novelists like Harry Crews or Richard Yates. Then you see a film like Revolutionary Road, and you think, Why the fuck did they make this awful movie about this wonderful book?
What’s the secret to being good in bed?
You know nothing. Women know everything. Follow their lead.
What hidden skills do you have?
That’s a tough one for an actor. If you’re paying me to act, I’ll do something very well. If we’re on a film set and you’ve got a 3-iron and we’re rolling and you say, “Could you hit five 3-iron shots?” probably four out of five I’ll hit like I know what I’m doing. But if the camera is turned off and you put me on a golf course—useless.
What article of clothing should every man own?
A pair of Levi’s. 501s.
What article of clothing should a man never wear?
A thong. Especially not under a pair of Levi’s. I’ll never forget, years ago I was in a bar in England, and it used to be an old bar trick, if people got very drunk and silly, to suddenly yank their underwear up. But somebody did it to this big butch biker and came up with a handful of girly panties. I hasten to add that this wasn’t even that kind of bar. The biker took it very well—just carried on with his pint as if nothing had happened. So just be careful of the person whose thong you might be pulling. That’s an old proverb.
What secrets should a man keep to himself?
Doesn’t matter if it’s that crazy collection of Vermont Teddy Bears you keep in upstate New York or that rag you sucked on as a two-year-old—there are some things that should die with you.
How should a man best face his fears?
Deadwood was probably the greatest three years of all our lives, creating something like that, but it was also scary. David Milch would get asked how we did it, and he’d say, You went to work every morning, you held your balls, and you just jumped.
What should every man do before he dies?
Go sit on top of a mountain. My mind has always been fidgety, but if I could do that and meditate properly, that would be really cool. You can look at life through a telescope, feeling totally significant in your own personal sphere. I’d rather look at it from the mountaintop—as long as I had a four-wheel drive parked nearby.
How do you impress a woman?
(1) Keep your nails clean.
(2) Being able to handle a frying pan is quite important. I can make steak frites pretty well.
(3) Don’t show off too much. Don’t try to make a lobster thermidor and don¹t order a $1,000 bottle of wine.
(4) If you take a woman to a restaurant, don’t tell her it’s your favorite. She’ll know damn well you’ve been there before with somebody else
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The British actor, 66, now stars in NBC’s Kings.
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This article originally appeared in the June 2009 issue of Men’s Journal.
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