After taking 35 minutes to drink a beer and run a quarter mile fours times over, Fox Sports 1 reporter Katie Nolan can at least be proud of finishing her beer mile. In the video of her recent challenge, Nolan gives us more than a half hour's worth of burps, laughs, puke, and insight to what goes through someone's mind as they take on this feat of athleticism and gastrointestinal fortitude, such as:
"I'm not going to quit, Nolans aren't quitters, but I'm scared."
"I can see why people puke. This is seriously not funny. This feels awful."
"Where did you get this idea? Guantanamo Bay?"
"This is the dumbest thing we've ever done. By far."
And the most tragic of all, "You don't even get to enjoy the beer."
But Nolan, a self-professed non-jock, can now proudly announce her beer-mile athletic prowess over a sports legend who did quit: Lance Armstrong. The 1993 world champion (he still has that title) and Olympian made it through just a single beer and lap during his 2014 beer mile attempt and subsequent DNF.
But even beer mile elites don't mask the difficulty of the race. The winner of the first heat of the open race at the 2014 Beer Mile World Championships, 27-year-old Todd Neer, puked up all four cans worth of beer following his 7:40 first-place finish run — right before shooting his fist into the air in victory. Olympic Track and Field silver medalist Nick Symmonds told Men's Journal last year that "It’s unlike any pain I’ve ever felt as a pro athlete. You're constantly fighting nausea and the gag reflex. Your whole stomach is just one giant cramp. Your trying to breathe, chug, burp, and run all at the same time. It’s superhard, but I've never puked."
So while Nolan may not be anywhere near shattering a women's beer mile record (45-year-old mother of six Chris Kimbrough holds that title with a time of 6:28), she is still in some solid athletic company who can sympathize with her.