We’re more than OK with the reindeer sweaters and polka-dot ties we got this Christmas, but here’s one gift we wish we would have found under the Christmas tree. Bear Grylls, the glamorous poster boy of the reality TV survival genre (who once consumed his own urine from a canteen on camera), is back. And just like the premises of his former hit show Man vs. Wild—like, say, teaching viewers to tunnel through ice caves with reindeer antlers as a makeshift ice-ax—it’s slightly over the top.
This December, Grylls, in partnership with Gerber, debuted the $1,000 “Bear Grylls Ultimate Pack,” which comes jammed with 30 gadgets and at least fourteen different knives (by our eyeball accounting). It also has two machetes, a hatchet, and one curved, gnarly-looking thing that looks ideal for either a plane-crash survivor scenario or the next film in the Saw series. Of course, all of this comes conveniently stored in your Bearpack, Gryll’s trademark commando 60 knapsack, which is emblazoned with the initials “BG” and is equipped with reflectors to alert you to oncoming traffic… wherever it is you might be encountering oncoming traffic.
Not everything in there is a sharp object. There’s a flashlight. And a canteen—but whether or not you double it as a urinal is up to you. Check out Bear’s ulitmate survival kit here.