John Oliver Appeals to the Powers That Really Control FIFA

When it was announced last week that the U.S. was spearheading an investigation against FIFA, which resulted in 14 officials being extradited for taking more than $150 million in bribes, Last Week Tonight host John Oliver was finally able to come full circle after slamming the nonprofit several times on air (and even more often on his podcast).

"You may remember last year we examined what an appalling organization FIFA is — treating countries that host the World Cup like cash machines, practically imposing their own rule of law, generating billions of dollars, and yet somehow remaining a nonprofit," Oliver said. "Despite being almost the dictionary definition of corruption, they've escaped any significant prosecution for decades. But that all ended on Wednesday."


Oliver (who called FIFA "a comically grotesque organization" in June 2014) reassured that while it is surprising that the U.S. took charge to redeem the sport it knows little to nothing about in comparison to many other countries around the globe, this was a redeeming factor for America. "If America keeps driving this investigation and actually finds something to indict him, I don't think you understand how much that would mean to everyone on Earth," Oliver explained. "The whole world's opinion of America would change overnight."

Oliver is also challenging the U.S. to go after FIFA president Sepp Blatter, who wasn't part of the original indictment. For that to happen, it's likely that the World Cup's biggest corporate supporters, such as McDonalds, Adidas, Visa, and Coca-Cola, would have to pull their sponsorships from the massive event. If that happens and Blatter is overthrown, Oliver promised to make the "ultimate sacrifice" for the good of his beloved game:

"Budweiser: If you pull your support and help get rid of Blatter, I will put my mouth where my mouth is and I will personally drink one of your disgusting items… I'll drink one, maintaining eye contact with the camera, and say it was delicious, because if you get rid of the Swiss demon who has ruined the sport I love, this stuff will taste like fucking champagne."

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