Broken Nose and Collarbone
A wrestling coach grabbed my board and was trying to get me in trouble. Another coach saw us scuffling and grabbed me from behind. I fell forward to the ground and broke my nose and collarbone. I took them to court, and they settled for a little money. It was a pretty hot story, being a little kid and getting taken out by two 35-year-old wrestling coaches. They tried to say they were scared for their lives when they fought me. How could they be scared of me? I look like a junkie!
I have a broken rib right now; it’s the third or fourth time I’ve broken one. I don’t have the John Cardiel roll technique; I kind of have the Heath Kirchart slam technique. I slammed with a cast on. I tucked my arm into my chest and my cast broke my rib. Somehow my chest also managed to break my thumb while it was inside my cast.
It’s a broken radial head in the elbow, which I’ve fractured two or three times. It’s supposed to be replaced with a metal joint. I don’t want to do it now, though; I’d just screw it up again. It looks like a cartoon turkey leg.
It’s the broken scaphoid, the Salman Agah/Mike York fracture. Supposedly it never heals. I’ve been in a cast for six months on this arm already and it’s not healing. I did a backside tailslide, and Dave Swift wanted me to try it again. I tried it and ended up breaking both my wrists.
Hematoma in Hip
It looks like I have all this pudding in my hip, like gooey blood clots. If I get it drained, I have to sit in the bathtub for hours letting the pudding stuff drain from my hip. I’m not really a fan of that. It gives me a girly hip on my right side.
It was a hairline fracture with a muscle torn on the side of it. They told me it was going to be six months, but after two weeks the femur healed just fine. The torn muscle was kind of tweaked, though.
I was bombing a hill on my He-Man bike when I was a kid. I got speed wobbles and crashed into a picnic table and fractured my skull. I remember having a giant ugly cut on my face, and all the kids made fun of me at preschool and called me Hamburger Face.
Knocked Out Teeth
My middle teeth are fake. I was trying to skate a spine when I was younger, and Wade Speyer was trying to teach me something. I smacked my teeth on the spine and knocked those things out. Two of the teeth on the bottom side of my mouth are fake, too, from falling on my face. I seem to do the scorpion a lot, so face injuries are common.
This also came from trying to skate a spine ramp. Tim McKenney was doing kickflip nosegrabs over the spine, and I tried it but as a completely clueless 13-year-old. I missed the grab, and the kickflip shot straight up into my nose and broke it. Greg Carroll came straight up to me and said, “If I see one tear out of your eyes, I’ll sock you in the nose.”
Sliced Scrotum and Torn Taint
I split my scrotum open sacking on a rail. I had a rip in my sack from one side to the other. I probably should have gotten stitches, but that kind of freaked me out. Now I have a lovely scar on my nutsack. I sacked on a marble hubba, too. It was more of a friction burn, with blood all over my pants. That was pretty embarrassing. I was walking around Paris with my pants split open at the balls and blood coming out. Another time I smacked my taint on a kinked rail. We cut the kink off the rail, so all it had was a jagged end. It just took a chunk out of that spot between my ass and my balls. I should’ve gotten stitches but, once again, I freaked out.
There have been four or five, always sticking and falling backward. The slam that was on the cover of the Foundation video was another concussion. I probably should’ve broken my neck, but somehow I escaped. My friends were trying to get me to go to the hospital, but I thought I was fine. Later that night I got a bloody nose, and blood started coming out of my ears. That was kind of sketchy.
I was grinding a 25-stair rail that was square and aluminum. I don’t like square rails. I got about halfway down, went to Smith grind, ended up sacking it for about 6 feet, fell forward and fractured my cheekbone and broke my left collarbone. In one slam I got blue balls, a broken face and my second broken collarbone.
They took a bone out of my hip and put it into my wrist with a screw through it. I’m guessing it should be fine.
I broke it in Australia. I had one of those great slams where you get three in one: I re-broke my right wrist, broke a rib and broke my left wrist all in the same slam. Stucco hubbas? I advise you not to skate them. They stick. Listen to the name. I just got pitched to the ground, a full blown-out scorpion. That was one of the most painful slams I’ve ever had. The rest of the trip I got to hang out with kangaroos.
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