Skate Anatomy: Ed Templeton

Ed Templeton

Left Side

Inner thigh sacks:
“I can’t recall the amount of times I have sacked the inner thigh area. I always get the most heinous bruises. When I broke my neck, it was a dangling sack that propelled me to my head. That one was such a deep shade of purple.”

“In high school all my skate friends called shinners ‘Eds’ because my shins were always disgustingly banged up. Once I was skating at a spot and a pro skater came rolling up. I thought, ‘I will impress this guy with an axle stall on this high ledge!’ I made the attempt, landing with both trucks on the toe side. My board slipped out and I did a double shin scrape. At least eight inches of skin and hair was piled up on the edge of the ledge like scraping wet paint off a wall. The pro must have been very entertained.”

Severe hematoma:
“A hemotoma is a doctor’s term for a big-ass bruise. I got one of these on my hip when I was an am. You fall on your hip so many times that the skin separates from the muscle and the pocket fills with blood. That blood soon coagulates into a jelly. That jelly will eventually migrate around your body and disperse but only if you stop falling on your hip. Skaters can’t do that. Some have to get it drained. Mine just turned my whole leg yellow. Now there are crunchy bits floating in there.”

Tweaked ankle three times per year for the last 17 years:
“I went to a specialist once and he was looking at my ankle. He looked up and said, ‘This one is completely ruined.’ There is this knob that comes out of it that isn’t on the other one. It aches a lot now, perhaps cumulative tendinitis from stretching and tearing over the years.”

“I smacked my head at a contest in Sacto one year. Right on my left temple. I freaked out because I saw pretty colors then went blind for a bit. It’s really not fun losing your sight. I was stressing hard. It mellowed out to tunnel vision for about 20 minutes then got better.”

Right Side

Smashed middle finger:
“I was playing with a BB shotgun that had a lever you had to cock five times to compress the air. It was real hard to cock it because I wasn’t very strong. My hand slipped off and the stock slapped back, harshly squashing my finger right by the fingernail. It damaged the matrix of my nail and to this day I still have a line running down my middle fingernail. I think I shot a bird once.”

“During the filming for my ‘Day in the Life’ article in 411 I decided I wanted to front-blunt to fakie the rail at UCI. On one attempt I just kicked my board out and tried to jump past the rail. My shin caught on the way down and gashed it open pretty good. It was a 2-and-a-half-inch open wound that, for sure, needed stitches. I still pulled it before going home though—’cause I’m so tough, of course. About three weeks later, I did the same exact gash to the same shin about four inches up at the Vans skatepark.”


Cheek spreader:
“While trying to frontside-feeble a kinked rail, I fell sideways and got a real bad cheek spreader. I was going about 100 mph, so when my cheek stuck to the ground and the rest of my body kept going 100 it felt like my butt crack was being pried open with a crowbar. It was a real sphincter stretcher. I was sure it was bleeding and had to check, but it wasn’t.”

Broken neck:
“If I had to break a bone for the first time, why did it have to be the neck? It was at a contest in Switzerland, I had just gotten there for practice. I had not been there more than 10 minutes when I attempted a boardslide across a flat bar that ended in a double-kink rail. My board stuck right at the first kink. I dangling-sacked the down part, throwing me forward onto my stomach on the kink at the end of the rail. That flipped me upside down onto my head. I then skidded on my head burning my hair off and finally my neck snapped when my weight came down. I went a whole week thinking it was whiplash, ’cause the stupid doctors didn’t figure it out. I thought I would be able to skate in a week! When I found out it was broken and serious I flew home and didn’t skate for four months.”

“I have had two major concussions. One happened in Prague. I had new shoes and new griptape. I tried to 50-50 a ledge at a contest but I leaned too far out. The great part was my feet didn’t come off my board when I tried to step off. I piled backward right onto my head and back. People said I was out cold for five minutes. I don’t remember. They took me to a sketchy hospital. I started to remember stuff the next day. That night I got up in the middle of the night and escaped from the hospital. No one even saw me; I took a taxi back to our hotel. I was afraid to pull the needle out of my arm where the IV was put in. When Deanna opened the door to our room and saw me in a hospital gown with a needle and tube sticking in my arm she flipped and made me go back and check myself in.”

Concussion number two:
“The most recent one happened this summer on the Toy Machine tour in New Haven, Connecticut. I had already bruised my heel in Canada and I should not have been skating. I skated anyway, trying not to use my heel. Tried a frontside feeble on a flat bar across a pyramid and my board got tangled in the bar. I stuck, and it shot me to my back, violently whipping my dome onto the cement. At first I thought I was going to be all right. I just went outside and sat down feeling kind of spacey. Then I slowly started to feel worse—like my head was exploding in slow-mo. I spent the night in the hospital and started barfing. I barfed up everything I tried to eat for three days. In New York I checked into another hospital and they gave me an IV because I was malnourished.”

Rail and ledge sacks, at least 15:
“I got a bunk ollie trying to 50-50 a long skinny rail. Pretty much jumped 6 feet down straight to sack my chode. I pulled down my butt huggers and there was blood. I switched to boxers soon after! Still pulled the trick though, before going home and taking pictures of the bloody underwear. The other real bad sack was the one in the Welcome to Hell video. I was trying to boardslide a high flat rail and went to noseslide instead. Direct to balls. They were cut up and purple already. Jamie Thomas caught it on film. Before that though, he didn’t film me lying there wiggling and screaming with eight thousand volts of electric tingles shooting pain through my body.” SB

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