It’s true that since the dawn of the dirtbag, beer has long been the go-to pre, post, and during adventure drink. It’s even rumored that the prehistoric dirt bag (Cro-Magnon Dirtus Maximus Bagus) first stood erect to reach a primordial version of a PBR.
Coors, Fat Tire, Montucky Cold Snacks, Tin Cup and Early Times whiskey all have the market cornered when it comes to outdoor libations. But there are some tasty liquid treats that are equally as satisfying with one huge difference: one too many only makes bathroom breaks more necessary. Hangovers sold separately with these camp mocktails.
This seltzer water is the best thing to ever come out of Massachusetts – Yes, that includes freedom. Polar has been cranking out tasty bubbles since the late 1800s. You know what’s super savory around a campfire? Unicorn Kisses. Yup, that’s an actual real-life Polar flavor. And so are Black Cherry, Mandarin, Hibiscus Cloudberry, Raspberry Rose, Dragon Whispers, and two dozen others.
Polar also boasts no sugar, sweeteners, sodium, carbs, or MSG. Plus, it’s gluten free and vegan, so your dreadlocks won’t get in a tizzy.
Seeing a trend here? Well, a hipster barley pop doesn’t hold a candle to a drink with all the tasty fizz and none of the other shizz. Spindrift is bubble-water with real squeezed fruit.
Think of this drink as your farm-to-mouth can of adventure quenching effervesces. Raspberry Lime, Orange Mango, and Half & Half are crowd favorites. You pull into camp with a cooler of icy Spindrift and you’re sure to get firsties for seconds on s’mores.
Spikey French water with light-as-an-angel-toot fruit flavor essence might be the best thing to happen to the outdoor community since free oyster crackers were first combined with ketchup and hot water. Sure, LaCroix is a little more “pinky in the air” than dirtbag tomato soup, but an 8-pack costs $4. That’s hard to beat.
Mango LaCroix is the 12-ounce version of listening to Sgt. Pepper’s, Peach Pear will transport you to the quantum realm, and Cran-Raspberry is like a loofah for your taste buds. It’s hard to beat a LaCroix after a big hike, climb, or mountain bike ride. Stay away from Coconut, though … That bung water tastes like Hasselhoff sweat.
Kombucha can sometimes look and smell like hippie fart water. Just take a long stare at those furry slugs floating near the bottom of the apothecary bottle – Even a 45-minute mouthwash gargle can’t cleanse your tongue of that yuck. However, Brew Dr. kombucha is seriously tasty. Brew Dr. is made from loose leaf tea, all organic ingredients, has no added juice or flavorings, and is alcohol free.
The Love flavor (jasmine and lavender) is delicious. Plus, 1% of every can sold is donated to non-profits focused on saving Mama Nature. So, you can kick back in your camp chair, have a tasty beverage, and feel like you’re doing a ‘lil somethin’ somethin’ to give back to the wild places you love.
- Can you get better than soda water, a splash of cranberry, and a lemon and lime rim garnish? Well, maybe only if you throw some muddled mint in there.
- Coffee is the best. Period. And a freshly ground cup is hard to beat. But Alpine Start makes insanely tasty instant coffee. Yes, instant coffee typically tastes like recently steeped asphalt – Not so with Alpine Start. The Original Blend is superb and their Dirty Chai Latte is delicious. Plus, no grounds to deal with at camp.
- Snag some apple cider from your local farmers market. Warm it up in a big pot on your camp stove. Add orange slices, cinnamon sticks, and cloves. Drinking this will give your tongue a hug.
- Float some sliced strawberries in equal parts orange juice and soda water over ice. Take in the sunrise from your tent with this drink in hand. Smile, and then smile some more.
- Abuelita Hot Chocolate is so flippin’ good. Melt the chocolate in a pot of almond milk on your two-burner stove. Add cayenne pepper for a little spicy kick. It’ll keep you warmer and happier than your favorite sleeping bag.
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