When done well, sex on the big screen has real potency. Take, for just a few examples, Hedy Lamarr’s orgasm in 1933’s still-effective Ecstasy, the passion in 2002’s flawed but still complex and compelling Secretary, or Brokeback Mountain for its portrayal of man on man relationships.
Yet for every worthy sex scene there are a dozen absolute clunkers — so many that trying to list them all in one place is an impossible undertaking. A lot of movie sex is bad on purpose, for the sake of humor, style, or tone. A lot more is bad because it's poorly planned or acted. But a few special disasters are bad because they try to sell us on sex that no sane human should want to be a part of. Consider the following chronological list as much a warning as a public shaming of the apparently unintentionally worst sex ever set to celluloid.