We Tried Starbucks’ New Zombie Frappucino So You Don’t Have To

Starbucks Zombie Frappucino
 

Following the runaway success of the essentially undrinkable Unicorn Frappucino back in April, it comes as no surprise that Starbucks is aiming for another big social media win with the release of their second novelty drink of the year. The Zombie Frappucino is available starting today, through October 31st, and hooboy is it disgusting. 

What is it, exactly? Well, it’s bright green for the most part, and it’s supposed to taste like “green caramel apple,” which… it sorta does after your first few sips, which taste more like garbage. Eventually, though, a sour apple quality comes through, and it’s almost enjoyable until it’s overtaken by the hideously sweet taste of caramel. Add to that the “drizzle” of chocolate syrup, that’s actually more like a fucking quarter-cup of chocolate syrup, and it pretty much guarantees you won’t be able to get more than five sips in. There’s also bright pink whipped cream that I think maybe tastes like nothing? It doesn’t matter. We tried it, we took a photo, and now we’re gonna put it on Instagram, just like everyone else. Starbucks: 2, World: 0.