The Best Bad Decision You’ll Make This Summer

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🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 ! 

🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 !

This just might go down as the best (or worst) decision you'll make all summer, any summer: Buy this flamethrower. It's on sale, and it can be yours for the hot, hot price of $1,599. Now it should be said we've never used this flamethrower — not yet, at least — and we're only vaguely aware of how to avoid catching fire once we throw it on like a backpack, but the Ohio-based company XMatter claims it can spit flames over 50 feet in front of you for up to a minute. 

And before you pass because you'd only use it to impress your buddies and freak out your neighbors while your kid records a slow-motion video of it on his iPhone, there are real, practical reasons you should own one: clearing out all that brush behind your garage or really getting that bonfire going on Saturday night. Just ask Gene W. on XMatter's site: “Perfect for brush burning! I can safely light huge piles from about 50ft way even when they are still wet.” Consider it done, Gene W. Once you've bought propane and a 20-ounce CO2 tank, you're all set. 

Now go light some shit on fire. Pass it down to your kids. Have fun. Be safe. 

[From $1,599; throwflame.com]

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