If you haven't been on the internet for the last month, the only things you've missed are Donald Trump sound bites, Star Wars spoilers, and the surprising rise of yule log videos.
The latter's surge peaked with Nick Offerman silently sipping scotch by the fire, followed by a five-hour Darth Vader funeral pyre with the cozy sounds of a crackling fire overtop. If neither suits your holiday mood, we've assembled a best-of collection for every possible situation. Whether you love the season, are counting down the days with your family, or see this break as a convenient time to binge watch Star Wars, yule find everything you need.
Yule Log in 4K
It seems silly to waste the new 4K display you've been showing off all football season on some degraded old VHS transfer of the 1960s yule log. No, use PBS's 4K version instead. Might need to amp up your wifi, but holy crap that's a beautiful yule log.
Length: 1 hour.
Darth Vader Yule Funeral Pyre
Between multiple viewings of The Force Awakens, skip any festive denominational yule celebrations and instead enjoy this evening-long loop of Star Wars's most cathartic moment. The only thing better than five hours of a burning Darth Vadar would be getting back the five hours of Episode 1-3 that don't include Darth Maul.
Length: 5 hours.
Yule Log with Married Couple Fighting
For some the holidays are a time to gather in peace with loved ones, and the traditional yule log video may be a great backdrop for that. But if this is the year away from family and you want something more realistic, enjoy this charming yule log complete with intermittent, darkly hilarious arguments between a married couple struggling to survive the misery of a Christmas party.
Length: 58 minutes.
Nick Offerman's Scotch-Sipping Yule Log
The charming alure of a peaceful evening spent fireside might leave you with a sense that something's missing. If that something is Nick Offerman sipping scotch in masculine, rugged silence, look no further. This video offers you a full two drinks worth of Ron Swanson's time. You'll enjoy it, though you should never say so aloud.
Length: 45 minutes.
Lil Bub The Cat Yule Log
Remember the world's goofiest looking little kitten? He's ready to join you for your yule time. Isn't that adorable? Admittedly, it is pretty great watching a small, smiling cat warm itself by the fire, purring along with the crackling logs. No Nick Offerman, but still great.
Length: 1 hour
Yule Log with the Property Brothers
Watch Property Brothers Drew and Jonathan Scott get bored in front of a fireplace for an hour. They'll remodel the awkward silence in the room into something still awkward, but also entertaining. Highlights include opening stockings, playing with an elf, and a thumb war. Thanks to Mashable for having the free time to get this made
Length: 1 hour, 10 minutes.
The Original Yule Log
The one that started it all. A high-ish quality version of the original 1966 WPIX yule broadcast materialized after some loving restoration. Unfortunately (because of copyright) the restorer of this footage says he had to switch in new audio due to complaints. But hey, the video's the most important part.
Length: 1 hour, 20 minutes.
Nerdist Laser Yule Log
This Mythbusters-style yule from the guys at Nerdist isn't the most relaxing video (lots of extra noises and none-too-peaceful), but it's certainly the most entertaining, as robotic arms intermittently break up the crackling wood to add laser-induced flames to the mix.
Length: 50 minutes.
The 2015 Minecraft Yule Log
Somewhere out in the world is a guy who's created a new Minecraft Yule Log video every year for four years. Four years of multi-hour, pixelated, simulated fire within an ever-changing sandbox game world. We frankly respect the devotion. Consider this the all-ages option for your yule loop needs.
Length: 2 hours.