Pulp Fiction: Many brands of grated parmesan cheese contain as much as 8% of cellulose, a non-clumping (and safe) food additive made from wood pulp, according to a new report from Bloomberg Businessweek. The worst offender: Castle Cheese Inc., which the FDA busted for selling cheese branded as “100 percent real parmesan” even though it actually contained no Parmesan cheese at all. Michelle Myrter, the company’s president, is scheduled to plead guilty to criminal charges this month. She faces up to a year in prison and a $100,000 fine. [Bloomberg Businessweek]
Don’t Call It a Bond Movie: Idris Elba plays a badass secret agent in Bastille Day, which doesn’t need much plot other than “Idris Elba kicks ass next to that guy from Game of Thrones.” Could it be the push he needs to become the next James Bond?
Butt-Builders: Disney and Marvel have already started filming Guardians of the Galaxy 2—starring Chris Pratt, Dave Bautista, and (bonus!) Kurt Russell—and we’re already getting some gems from the set. Take this photo, courtesy of director James Gunn’s Instagram. “This is @michael_rooker [who plays Yondu] showing Dave Bautista and @prattprattpratt the exercises he does for his butt. 100% not a joke.”
USA vs. the World: Well, more specifically, the USA Eagles rugby team will take on the fearsome Maori All Blacks at Chicago’s Soldier Field on Nov. 4. It’s part of the “The Rugby Weekend,” headlined in the Windy City by clash between the vaunted New Zealand All Blacks and Ireland’s national rugby team. [ESPN Scrum]
Blood Spilled Over a Red Card: After receiving a red card during a game in Córdoba, Argentina, a soccer player left the field, returned with a gun, and fatally shot the referee who had given him the penalty, according to local news reports. [The Guardian]
Reynolds on Jackman: Fresh off his red-suited demolition derby at the box office this weekend, Ryan Reynolds decided to put some jokes on a different superhero (Hugh Jackman) by crashing the press junket for Eddie the Eagle, in which Jackman plays a ski coach. Reynolds managed to get Jackman to do a scene from Crocodile Dundee, which pretty much makes the whole thing worth it.
Hanging Up His Cleats: Jerod Mayo, a linebacker for the New England Patriots, announced on Instagram that he is retiring from the game after eight seasons. [CBS Sports]
Back to School: Some reboots of Arnold Schwarzenegger movies, like the newly announced Predator reboot, are natural fits. But this edition of Kindergarten Cop 2, starring not AHNULD but Dolph Lundgren? We’ll let you make your own judgment.