Here’s how you win over the hearts of America: You put a horde of weiner dogs (okay, dachshunds) in actual weiner costumes, and then videotape them bounding across an open field.
Nice job, Heinz.
(For the record: We’re in favor of mustard on hot dogs, since it typically has less sugar than ketchup. But somehow, after watching this commercial, we’re having a hard time mustering [terrible pun!] any hot dog cravings.)