How To Help Your Partner Orgasm If She Has a Small Clitoris

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The clitoris is a captivating but often misunderstood organ. Just as no two female bodies are the same, the clitoris comes in different sizes and varies in its proximity to the vagina. Turns out, both of these factors could be affecting your partner’s ability to orgasm during intercourse and foreplay.

No doubt you’ve already heard about the results of a study that found only 25 percent of women experience orgasm from intercourse. There’s another piece of the orgasm puzzle that is often left out: A 2014 study found a correlation between larger clitorises and more frequent orgasms. That same study posits that even women who can orgasm from penetration have their clitorises to thank — because they just so happen to be located a few centimeters closer to their vaginas (the distance between a woman’s clitoris and her vagina can vary from 1.6 centimeters to 4.5 centimeters).

“The clitoris, which is the home of 8,000 nerve endings, can come in many different shapes and sizes,” says sex educator Jessica Drake, creator of Guide To Wicked Sex. “Some people have concerns that a smaller surface area can equal less sensitivity — but that's simply not true. The amazing thing about the clitoris is that there is so much more to see than what meets the eye. There is erectile tissue that plumps up with arousal, and crura, or clitoral legs. If the glans is smaller, it may be a bit harder to find, but pleasure can be just as fulfilling for everyone.”

1. Focus on the entire genital area.

It’s natural to head straight for the clitoris during foreplay, but taking your time and stroking the entire genital area could bring her to orgasm faster. “Stroke the inner and outer labia for full arousal,” Drake says. “Notice as the glans begins to swell and harden. The clitoral hood may retract to some degree as well.” 

2. Try scissoring.

This sex position feels amazing for women with smaller clitorises, says sex educator Kitty Stryker. “Start off with missionary — then she lays one leg flat and puts one on your shoulder so that she’s lying on one hip,” Stryker says. “He then puts his legs on either side of her flat leg and slides in. This maximizes the contact between her pubic mound and your body, allowing for grinding stimulation while having penetrative sex.” Another sex position that allows you to directly stimulate her clitoris? Woman on top, a perennial favorite!

3. Touch her clitoris the way you would touch your eyelid.

Easy does it when it comes to clitoral stimulation. “Start off by working your index finger in slow circles around her clitoris, without touching it directly,” says sex therapist Vanessa Marin. “Be very gentle at first. A good rule of thumb is to think about how you would touch the delicate skin on your eyelid. Ask her if that feels good or if she wants more. If she says she wants more, stroke your finger horizontally across her clitoris. Keep it slow and gentle. Most men tend to be way too rough with the clitoris, so err on the side of caution unless she tells you otherwise.”

4. Switch up fingering speed.

Many women are used to masturbating at different speeds. The same technique can bring her to orgasm when you’re touching her vagina and clitoris with your fingers. “Move your fingers around and gauge your partner's reaction,” says intimacy expert Carmel Jones at The Big Fling. “Slowly increase speed. Now go back to a slow speed briefly. Up and down, up and down. Read your partner. Her body and words will inform you how fast or slow you should go.”

5. Use your hands and tongue at the same time.

Allow your hands and tongue to multitask during foreplay. “Remember that the clitoris has legs to it, so when she gets more aroused, use your hands to massage the labia lips,” says Sienna Sinclaire, author of the Naughty Travel Guides. “Then after teasing her on the outside, explore a little deeper by massaging and licking around the inner lips. Just tease her — her clitoris should become more enlarged as she gets more aroused, along with her entire vaginal area. From there, explore her vaginal opening with your fingers while using your tongue to lick her clit.”

6. Save deep penetration until she really wants it.

To stimulate the most pleasurable area in a woman’s vagina, a lot of restraint and patience is required. “The first third of the vagina is full of nerve endings, so when it comes to vaginal stimulation, focus here rather than on deep penetration,” says Tristan Weedmark, We-Vibe’s global passion ambassador. Play with inserting your penis only a third of the way into the vagina. A few minutes of slow, restricted penetration can add up to a partner who may then crave deeper penetration.