How to Sneak in Sex While Visiting Your Parents

Tip 1: The floor is much less creaky than a mattress.
Tip 1: The floor is much less creaky than a mattress. Chris Black/Getty Images

Some things in parent-child relationships never change. Even as we get older, even as we are pressured to make them grandparents, there's still a mutual aversion to them knowing anything about our sex lives. But what do we do when we have that big "meet the parents" visit? Or travel to see them for holidays? Simple: Be more creative. 

"Some of my clients have reported having the best sex ever when they are home for the holidays or visiting their in-laws. It adds a level of thrill, excitement, and of course the, 'We can't get caught!' element that keeps sex spicy and fun," says Marissa Nelson, a sex therapist and founder of IntimacyMoon Couples Retreats.

Of course, you don't want to actually get caught. So here are some tips on how to do it incognito. 

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Avoid the Bed
Squeaky bedsprings and banging headboards don't make for ideal discreet sex conditions. "Get creative about other locations, whether it's the floor of the bedroom, the shower, the basement, or your car," says Tristan Weedmark, We-Vibe's Global Passion Ambassador.

Have Sex in the Closet
As we mentioned above, beds creek and make noises, especially if it's your bed from forever ago that makes noises every time you sit on it. "The fun part is finding creative places in your room to get physical. The closet is great because no matter how small, it makes for unconventional positions that can actually be hot and hit the woman's G-spot if she's on top. On the floor with pillows also works well too," says Nelson.

…Or in Your Car
Act like a teenager and hookup in the back seat of your car (or your parents' car, if you're up for it). "Offer to run an errand for the family and sneak a quickie in the backseat of the car in a quiet parking lot. Pack a blanket in your trunk and use the seat belts as restraints for a quickie, and your date's parents will be none the wiser," says Dr. Jess, Astroglide's resident sexologist.

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Make Silence a Game
Not being able to express sexual excitement verbally and having to repress all of the sensations you are feeling actually heightens arousal, and makes sex even more erotic. "Play a game of 'I won't make a sound' where you try different stokes, kisses, caresses, and anything you can to get your partner on the edge of making a sound. If you see them grabbing a pillow or sheet to muffle the noise, you are moving in the right direction," says Nelson.

Choose an Off-Hour
Make a plan to wake up in the middle of the night. "With everyone else sound asleep, you'll be able to get busy without worrying about being heard or caught," says Weedmark.

Stick to Foreplay
If you're really concerned about being overheard, foreplay is much easier to pull off discreetly, says Weedmark.

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