Somebody Stole $60,000 Worth of Dildos From a London Sex Toy Company

Girl in Handcuffs
 Peter Dazeley / Getty Images

What do you get when you combine the world’s leading sex toy companies with a room full of sex toy enthusiasts?

The biggest sex toy heist in history.

The robbery occurred last week at the Venus Berlin, an event that brings together the most innovate erotic toy makers from all over the world together under one roof.

The dirty thieves got away with €50,000—almost $60,000—in stolen dildos and butt plugs made by Fun Toys London, according to The Cut. (We know what you’re thinking: $60,000? Maybe it’s time to find your way into the sex toy market.)

Fun Toys announced the theft in a Facebook post, accompanied with a picture from the scene of the crime. They labeled it the “largest recorded theft of sex toys in history,” although, to be fair, we wonder if anybody really keeps an accurate tab on sex toy heists. Presumably, dildo theft is a rare occurence, but one never knows with these things. Thankfully for Fun Toys London, the criminals saw no value in the company’s Erotix Awards 2017 and left it behind as a consolation prize.

The company is assuming these stolen sex toys will be popping up on black market sites, so if you’re, ahem, perusing the dark Web and just so happen to accidentally open the link to a toy being sold by an unauthorized dealer, please inform Fun Toys. There are no small dildos here, just small acts of kindness.