This is the one point that all of our experts agreed is an issue many people should address when it comes to sex. Whatever your situation, everyone’s sexual experiences can benefit from better communication. “Even if it is a quick and dirty hook up, you have to be able to have some level of communication in order for both (or all) people to get their needs met,” says Katz. Again, everyone likes different things and making assumptions about what’s best is not likely to produce optimal pleasure.
The solution: Banner recommends setting aside time to make communication a priority, whether it’s a weekly sit down or an all-out get-away. If that sounds a little too daunting, this communication doesn’t necessarily have to be in-person. Katz says Gchat or Skype can work too. Eric Marlowe Garrison, a clinical sexologist and author of Mastering Multiple Position Sex, says people should communicate before, during, and after sex. During sex, little tips like “move to the left” or “slow down” can be helpful. Before sex, Garrison suggests people get into more detail, covering three specific points: 1) What they need less of, 2) What they need more of, and 3) What the other person does that they like.Back to top