Let us know if this sounds familiar: The gym is your only vice. Getting ripped is all you can think about, and now you’re starting to notice that precious horsehoe in your triceps and the “golf ball” by your biceps. Now, the once-cozy flab around your midsection has dissipated and you’re left with…muscle. Now you touch around your belly button and feel nothing but an unwelcoming, rocky abdomen.
But just as you’ve made your achievement, you’ve noticed that women are starting to look past your jacked frame to fawn over men who haven’t seen the inside of a gym since elementary school.
The dad bod era is back.
What’s a ripped guy to do? Could there be a quick fix to temporarily gain that dad bod despite muscular physique? Actually, yes: A product has been created for the less fortunate among us who haven’t the metabolic failure needed to earn the dad bod organically.
Behold (*confetti explosion*) The Dadbag: The product designed for those of us who want to imitate a dad bod without eating all the pizza and drinking all the beer to get there. The Dadbag is a fanny pack designed by Albert Pukies that looks like a fat, hairy belly, and it’s here to save you from yourself.
Here’s a look at the latest in sudden fat absorption.