WEIRD: Denmark Moves to Ban Bestiality


Denmark joins the rest of us in the 21 century and sets plans to ban bestiality in the upcoming year. How progressive of them.

Some people go to Mexico for tequila; others go to Amsterdam for marijuana. Everybody has their vices. But did you know that Denmark has been isolated by many of its Nordic neighbors over its bountiful demand for animal sex tourism—rude, right?

Norway, Germany and Sweden prudishly banned the practice in 2008, 2013 and 2014, respectively, which sparked a boom in the emergence of animal brothels and erotic zoos in Denmark, which sparked a frenzy of accusatory remarks, disgruntlement and shock every where else.

A recent Gallup poll revealed 76 percent of Danes supported the ban. Guess the remaining public has a thing for llamas, goats and horses. Forget The One Percent; a new echelon has formed. I’m looking at you remaining Danes—The 24 Percent.

Minister of Food and Agriculture, Dan Jørgensen, was the one who proposed adding an amendment to the Animal Welfare Act for next year. He told the Danish newspaper, Ekstra Bladet, “I have decided that we should ban sex with animals. They naturally cannot say no to going along with it.” 

Thanks heavens he established that.

What’s more, animal rights campaigners have been trying to thwart the efforts of said zoophiles, but the Animal Ethics Committee president, Bengt Holst, threw a wrench in their plans (I’ll refrain from making a monkey wrench joke in poor taste). Holst said Jørgensen’s amendment plans are “unnecessary,” and that the law already “prohibits animal suffering, pain, distress or lasting harm.”

Seem counterintuitive? That’s because it is. But then again, the only animal who would suffer, experience pain, distress or lasting harm would probably be the person who decide to make a move on a horse…

Not sure where you stand? Want to hear the argument from zoophiles and the fringe group ZETA—yes, PETAs sister organization…well, maybe sister twice removed? Watch Vice’s documentary: Zoophilia. Bet you won’t look at man’s best friend the same afterward.