Joseph Randle Caught Red-Handed

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And the paradox of rich people stealing continues. You may recall the likes of Lindsay Lohan and Megan Fox having been caught red-handed, but the latest shoplifter may surprise you—or at least make you laugh.

Dallas Cowboys running back Joseph Randle was arrested for shoplifting from the upscale department store outlet Dillard’s in Frisco, Texas, Monday evening. The security staff detained the 22-year-old NFL-er and charged him with Class B misdemeanor theft of goods between the value of $50 to $500. Don’t worry, Randle won’t miss any games. He posted bail the following morning.

The objects of his desire: a two-pack of black Polo underwear valued at $39.50 and an almost-full tester bottle of Gucci Guilty valued at $84. Gucci, yes. Guilty, you bet.

Randle signed a four-year, $2.35 million contract last year and is making a base salary of $495,000 this season. Now I’m not a mathematician or a comedian, but I think you can connect the dots as to why this is ludicrous.

Let’s peg the Cowboy’s five-finger discount on his season-high 52 yards on five carries during this past Sunday’s win against the Seattle Seahawks. Guess a game high really can make you do some crazy things.

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