A Onesie for the Modern Man

Courtesy of BetaBrand

Forget three-piece suits. Forget two-piece suits. The one-piece is here, almost, and it’s about to change the way you live and dress forever.

Okay, maybe not. Actually, the business casual onesy, called “Suitsy,” is an  early stages project from edgy San Francisco-based clothiers Betabrand, the same folks who’ve brought you reversible smoking jackets, pin-striped hoodies, and dress pant yoga pants.

But the Suitsy is actually brilliant, if only for finding a sweet spot of untapped potential. Boardroom jeggings, but all over. A zip-front insta-suit, worthy of a Mission: Impossible quick change, or any future Seth Rogen movie.

Allow its creator, Jesse Herzog, to explain:

Well said. Still, there are naysayers, who countered with public outcries on Betabrand’s comment boards, asking, “Since when did putting on a shirt, jacket, and pants become such a chore?” and calling the Suitsy “basically the Soylent Green of menswear.” But that’s kind of the point: The absolute minimum requirement to pass without objection.

Truth is, everyone has woken up one morning and, exhausted with life and everything around them, hated the idea of putting on a suit. That, or waking up in a strange place after a night of drinking with your clothes wrinkled and smelling of bad decisions, and putting you in need of a quick stand-in so your boss will believe your emergency root canal ruse.

That’s where Suitsy is most at home: part of some premeditated hoax against the system, like the office equivalent of parking in a handicap spot with your grandmother’s placard. 

A few practical questions came to mind after the introspective, life-questioning phase ended.

Yes, there will probably be enough of them so that you can trick people into thinking you own a real wardrobe. Betabrand founder Chris Lindland told us there could be enough patterns to fill a full workweek if the project gets funded, and that they’re considering selling the Suitsy in ready-wear state, “where one can simply pull one out and put it on.”

Well now we’re listening. But the obvious concern is that a pre-cut onesie would disappoint on tailoring. He had an idea of how to fix that as well: “We could do minor tailoring or enable S, M, L, and XL sizing with minor, size-adjustment technology. Still a work in progress.”

Yeah that could work. Well what about cleaning? Anyone who wants a one piece zip-up suit for the work week is — let’s be honest — trying to avoid dry cleaning. In fact, one Betabrand user commented, “Just tell me that it doesn’t need to be dry cleaned, and I will buy five.”

They haven’t nailed that down yet, as the project is still in what might be considered the alpha phase. If it gets enough votes by mid-October (well on its way), they’ll go to crowdfunding next, meaning it could be months or even a year before college students start showing up to classes in something besides pajamas again.

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