As a staffer for a Fortune 500 company, MF’s new resident sexpert has seen it all, especially when it comes to office romance. She’s here to answer your questions about how to pull it off. But first, an introduction…
When you’re an attractive twentysomething, like me, day-to-day interactions at work take on a whole new level of importance. I see things other people don’t. Most people assume I get treated better than everyone else. It’s true. Because I’m hot. But that doesn’t mean I’m as stupid as they think I am.
All my life, I’ve known I have the kind of body that puts that other Jessica —Alba—to shame. Obviously I look the part. I wouldn’t be caught dead in heels less than three inches, and the only blazer you’ll ever find me wearing is over a pair of appropriately tight jeans.
I’m no assistant, though. My bosses call me a rising star. The boys in the offi ce? (It’s often hard to think of them as men.) Well, they just think I’m a hot chick—and they’re only just catching on to the fact that I do actually work here (when they’re not fl irting with me). So why do OHs see things differently? Because everyone wants—and, more important, underestimates—us. And as an OH, I think it’s hilarious just how often we get the upper hand.
That’s right, guys—we OHs see you. When you think you’re being slick and stealthy, ask yourself: Is it possible the moves that worked in high school could work now? Or are you still just that hapless schoolboy, especially when standing in front of a pretty face? Not sure? Do you a) channel Joey from Friends and greet a cute girl with a “How you doin’?” b) constantly walk past her desk hoping to catch a shot of her legs beneath it, or c) invite her to “tag along” for afterwork drinks with the guys, because watching a bunch of dudes make asses out of themselves sounds like so much fun? If you answered yes to any of the above, then congratulations, you’re a charter member of the Schoolboy Psi, the office-boy fraternity.
But it’s all love, fellas. All my best friends are boys, so I’m privy to all your standard and, ahem, substandard moves. That’s why I promise to share a secret or two along the way. Just think of me as your very own OH insider—a dating coach for the office, who sees and studies you and your brethren in the field every day as you try your best and usually do just about your worst. But rest assured, I’m just the kind of girl whose opinion—along with a few other things—you can benefit from the most.
Got a question for the office hottie? E-mail her at firstname.lastname@example.org.