Drink wisely. If you're drunkenly shouting at me from yards away, I'm not gonna reply. Ditto if you're blasting music (any kind, and even if I like it)—it's just lame and makes you reek attention-addict. And know that, in general, the kind of beer you drink says a lot about what kind of person you are — and this gives off a signal to women. For example, a can of Corona or PBR says "I don’t give a shit; this beer is cold and cheap and I’m hot sitting on this beach." It’s easy and carefree, which is exactly the kind of persona you should be radiating when you’re beachside. Then there’s the higher-end beers, your Blue Moons, Dogfish Heads. Also solid beach-appropriate options. Women respect a craft beer obsession. But anything more niche than that, and we wonder why you’re not spending your day at a beer garden. Unequivocally, wine coolers are lame. As is mixing, shaking, or stirring any mixed cocktail and/or beverage you'd stick an umbrella in. It reads needy and high maintenance, which nobody’s interested in. As for the old whisky in a sunscreen bottle thing — are you 22 and trying to sneak booze into a Dead and Co. concert?
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