Why She’s Secretly Judging Your Beard and Tattoos


Who’d think growing your facial hair or having “Mom” inked on your arm could help you score with the ladies?

It’s just the law of the jungle, says a new U. of Western Australia study.

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Female primates, the study found, judge males’ rank and attractiveness based on visible markers. Think long noses on proboscis monkeys, silver hair on hamadryas baboons, and cheek flanges on orangutans.

For us, a marker could be an artful piercing, vibrant tattoo, or neat beard (even baboon babes turn their noses up at grizzly faces).

And the more competition for chicks, the more critical the markers: “In large groups of strangers, we need a quick tool to evaluate a mate’s strength and quality,” says study head Cyril Grueter, Ph.D.

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Beards, tats, and earrings not your style? Jolt your look with jauntier socks, ties, or tees.

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